Anger Management

Anger can be reduced and prevented in many ways depending on the nature of the problem. Generally speaking anger is a form of communication (sometimes effective, but often counter-productive) and occurs when someone has run out of choices of more effective ways to state their case or get the message across. So they ‘explode’.

Sometimes this occurs when the individual is not coping with ongoing stress, is full of adrenalin and too close to that flashpoint. In which case we reduce the stress to leave the person in a calm resourceful state.

Other times anger can be caused by a person getting into the habit of ‘sweating the small stuff’, so when the ‘big stuff’ comes around they have nowhere left to go.

Manage your Anger

We would then want to change those internal strategies, or generalisations, exaggerated beliefs and perceptions which whip up the emotions, so that the person operates in a more positive and level way. Anger can also be caused by an individual having a code or set of rules that others don’t seem abide by which can lead to frustration, exasperation and conflict.

Taking tempers can also be unconsciously learnt by copying significant others who behave in this way. Sometimes it can be as a result of a person lacking assertiveness skills to communicate what they want, and the frustration combined with the urgency to get the message through leads to a flashpoint.

Or when temper is mainly directed at one specific individual or group then often there can be an underlying, unresolved issue which is generating anger, and surfaces (with an explosion) with issues which are not even related to the original problem.

How can we overcome Anger?

The solution in each case is to give the individual the tools to communicate more effectively. One premise of NLP is that a successful communication is one which generates the desired response in the person with whom you are communicating. And exploding with rage normally does not achieve this. So sometimes the solution involves enhancing communication skills.

• making sure the individual knows exactly what they want to express

• making sure the individual knows exactly what they want to express

• being assertive

• being in a strong resourceful relaxed positive state

• having a choice of ways to communicate

• resolving longstanding ‘niggles’ or underlying issues