Passive aggressive behaviour is’t just those hushed murmurs or eye rolls in meetings - it’s a pervasive issue with real clout over work vibes and outcomes.
DurationUnderstanding Passive Aggressive Behaviour
Passive aggressive behaviour is’t just those hushed murmurs or eye rolls in meetings - it’s a pervasive issue with real clout over work vibes and outcomes.
It's like an emotional flu that spreads unchecked, infecting colleague camaraderie and employee zest for their roles.
Definition
Passive aggressive behaviour means not saying what someone really feels or wants. Instead, the person might stay silent, give someone the cold shoulder, or do things in a sneaky way to show they are upset.
It's like sending a message without using words and often confuses others. This kind of action can make people feel uncertain because it hides the true feelings behind indirect actions.
For example, someone who is passive aggressive might agree to help with a project but then take a long time to do their part. They may give backhanded compliments that sound nice at first but actually hurt.
These are ways of showing unhappiness without speaking openly about it.
Impact on workplace and business results
Passive aggressive behaviour can make a workplace feel unsure and full of mistrust. A co-worker might agree to do a task but then does it slowly or badly on purpose. This hurts the team because work gets delayed or messed up.
It can also make people not trust each other, as no one is sure who will do their job right.
This kind of behaviour affects the success of a business too. When passive aggression becomes normal, it leads to deep-set resistance across the company; projects stall and teams struggle to stay positive.
People start feeling stressed and unhappy, which means they may not work as well or come up with good ideas. This makes everything harder for everyone and can stop a business from doing its best.
Effect on colleague and employee wellbeing
Moving from the broader workplace impact, it's clear that passive-aggressive behaviour hits close to home when we look at our colleagues and employees. This kind of behaviour can hurt feelings and make work hard for others.
When someone acts in a passive-aggressive way, it might confuse their teammates or leave them feeling unsure about how to react. This creates stress and can make people not enjoy their jobs.
Team members may become less happy and trust each other less because of passive aggression. They might find it hard to talk openly or share ideas if they worry about hidden anger or unexpected reactions from others.
Good relationships at work are important - they help us feel safe and supported. But if there's passive aggression, these bonds can break down, leading to a place where no one feels good coming into work each day.
Our History
Phil and Rosemary Gould began developing their Skills with People course in the late 1970s, and have specialised in it ever since. Alex (their son) joined in 2005.
Phil and Rosemary have now retired from running groups, however they still maintain an active role behind the scenes. All the group sessions are now run by Alex.
Skills with People is a highly personalised course of coaching and training in communication skills. We're based near London. We run the course regularly both in Bedford UK, and online through Zoom Meetings. Thousands of managers and professional people have been through our hands.
Our approach appeals to those who are not easily satisfied by standard management training courses. Clients benefit from the precise behavioural diagnosis we offer, and they find our coaching supportive and encouraging.
The communication skills we teach have a powerful and transforming simplicity. This course has been picked out many times as a "high spot" among UK management training courses.
Our Philosophy
Why we do what we do
We believe nothing matters more to managers than the quality of their relationships with people. That’s why our life's work has been to create a course that helps them do this really well.
(Of course the way people connect with one-another matters to everyone and not just to managers, but it's because their careers depend on it so much and they're therefore so motivated to develop new skills that we find it particularly rewarding working with managers.)
We believe what works best in winning people's cooperation is a combination of honesty and generosity because these are the qualities more than any other that create an atmosphere of mutual respect, understanding and trust. That's why we focus on the skills that will help you develop these qualities.
We believe the main obstacle that'll make it difficult for you to change your approach is old mental habits. That's why we take a lot of trouble to help you spot and unlearn the habits that are getting in your way.
We believe that though changing your approach to people isn't easy, the motivation to do it comes from the feedback you receive. That's why all the feedback you get on the course is non-judgemental, factual, and helpful in a specific and practical way.
This course is not about what kind of person you are. It's not about changing your character or personality. It's about the way you behave, in other words, what you say and do and the effect you have on others.That you can change.
We believe the real test of training is whether you can hold on to new skills under pressure back at work. That's why we provide a large amount of practice and coaching, including coaching when you're back at work after the training.
It's hugely rewarding for us to see managers' confidence increase when they're able to handle challenging situations and difficult conversations more successfully. We love helping you communicate successfully.
Our Inspiration
The sources of our thinking in developing this course
The course expresses the ideas we've developed together over a period of 40 years. We're especially grateful to our clients because they've taught us how to help them not only learn the skills, but also unlearn the mental and behavioural habits that get in the way.
Their enthusiasm to put what they learn to the test and their feedback about what works and what they find difficult helps us continually learn and develop what we teach.
Our understanding of the two crucial skills has been profoundly shaped by Carl Rogers, the pioneering psychologist. His open-minded and generous-hearted way of tuning in to the feelings of others we see as the essence of empathy. And his honest and genuine way of admitting his own feelings we see as the essence of assertiveness.
These two ingredients, he believed, can have a beneficial effect on any relationship, and form the core of our training.
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