Assertiveness is being clear about your own position, communicating this to others, and accepting their positions. Essentially it involves taking responsibility for your feelings and beliefs and not attempting to justify them. Assertiveness means standing your ground and standing up for your rights
How To Become More Assertive Or Less Aggressive
Assertiveness is being clear about your own position, communicating this to others, and accepting their positions. Essentially it involves taking responsibility for your feelings and beliefs and not attempting to justify them. Assertiveness means standing your ground and standing up for your rights without violating the rights of others.
However, there is a fine line between being assertive and being perceived as aggressive; in particular women in leadership and management positions are often described as aggressive, when in fact they are only being assertive. Sometimes, as a result of feedback received in a 360 Feedback Review a leader or manager may realize they are being too assertive, whereas others may need to become more assertive:
High Assertiveness: If you are one of those individuals who has completed a Personality Questionnaire and been described as ‘arrogant, controlling, dictatorial or a bulldozer’ then you may be a highly assertive individual, who needs to work on your confrontation and problem-solving technique.
You can try practising using Open Questions to discover the needs of the other person, then acknowledging their needs, often by improving your Active Listening skills, and by offering options and alternative solutions.
Other techniques you can adopt include relaxing your shoulders, controlling your breathing, keeping a neutral expression, controlling your voice, concentrating on the problem not the personality, avoiding personal attacks, remaining calm and in control, and aiming for a win-win outcome.
Low Assertiveness: For those individuals who would like to be more assertive, not be taken for granted or become overloaded with work because you are unable to say 'No' assertively then it's good to remind yourself of the importance of verbal and non-verbal communication, for example, body language, vocal impact, eye contact, gestures, facial expressions, and posture.
It's also key to examine any irrational thoughts that can prevent you from being assertive and practise techniques to stamp out your negative voice/head chatter/inner critic to overcome Imposter Syndrome.
These techniques include remembering positive experiences and making a list of key accomplishments to refer back to when it is necessary to be more assertive and to increase confidence levels.
It's also key to understand the difference between Self- Esteem – what you feel and think about yourself, and Self-Belief – something you might exhibit in a particular situation (or your façade), which can drain away in challenging situations such as having to present to the Exec team!
You can practise being direct and avoiding preambles such as ‘I know you’re really busy but….’ or ‘I’m ever so sorry to trouble you but….’ to ensure you sound more assertive and avoid reverting to type under pressure.
During Natural Talent's Coaching or Training modules managers also work on the following:
Identifying where they are and where they need to be on the Assertiveness Continuum and move nearer their goal
Significantly building their confidence by practising tools and techniques
Identifying and practising ways of handling objections and conflict
Identifying any further key development areas
Setting SMART Action Plans for future development
About Us
Natural Talent provides world-class Talent Assessment and Development including Executive Coaching and Mentoring, Career Transition and Outplacement Coaching, Resilience Coaching, Executive Assessment, including 360 Feedback, as well as Leadership Training and Management Training.
We work with global CEOs and their senior management teams across most functions and industry sectors in the UK, Europe and the US in order to address key leadership and management issues.
These include driving major transformation and leading change, strategy alignment, and improving communication, collaboration, company culture, hybrid working, employee engagement, productivity, retention, and brand reputation.
Natural Talent has offices in Bristol, UK, and Usk in South Wales with a proven track record of success over 20 years working with executives and managers in top global brands, including within the FTSE 100 and Fortune 500, large public sector organizations and SMEs.
We are renowned for our highly ethical values and for following best practice to identify natural talent and enable our clients to realize their true potential.
During Executive Business Coaching and Mentoring we work in partnership with you as a confidential trusted business advisor to literally transform your life and enable you to work 'on' the business, rather than 'in' it.
We provide you with the most up to date proven tools and techniques in order to resolve key issues, such as the need to be more strategic, improve communication and negotiation, inadequate delegation and empowerment, inefficient planning and organizing, high/low assertiveness levels, tough decision making, implementing and leading change, stress and lifestyle management, developing resilience, improving poor working relationships.
All our Coaching interventions affect real and lasting behavioral and cultural change, creating swift, measurable high-quality results leading to significant improvement in individual, team and business performance. ROI is often in excess of 7,000.
During our Career Transition and Outplacement Coaching we will work in partnership with your HR team or you individually, if you are affected by organizational restructures and are facing redeployment or redundancy, or you require Career Coaching to develop, upskill, and progress in your current role.
We will support you in a positive way as you make the transition from your current role into a new position, self-employment or retirement. 97% of our individual clients have found a new role within 2 months. 94% of our clients have been promoted to senior positions following our Career and Executive Coaching and Mentoring.
This course will demonstrate that Assertiveness is a "Tool" we can all learn to use and it will show how being assertive, can help you be more effective in your job.
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